EXT. IVORY TOWER – PARAPET – MOMENTS LATER
Xiaogou rewraps the silk cord around his waist as the two young men cautiously enter the tower through the archway.
INT. IVORY TOWER – STAIRWELL – TRAVELING
Kai and Xiaogou make their way down the stairs that spiral along the inside of the tower. Their whispered conversation echoes softly in the stairwell. They do not notice the carved stone ears which sporadically dot the walls along the stairwell.
KAI
I can’t believe we’re actually doing this.
XIAOGOU
Neither can I.
KAI
This could turn out to be the greatest thing we ever do.
XIAOGOU
Don’t get your hopes up.
Dim light spills into the stairwell from below. Quietly they make their way to the bottom. Kai crouches low to the ground and peeks his head out of the opening.
INT. IVORY TOWER – INNER CHAMBER – KAI’S POINT OF VIEW (P.O.V.)
It is an ornately decorated room filled with exotic wall hangings and stone sculptures. Fine silk pillows of all shapes and sizes are scattered throughout the space. There are no mirrors or reflective surfaces anywhere in the room. A woman, slowly combing her dark luxurious hair, sits on a small stack of pillows with her back to them.
INT. IVORY TOWER – INNER CHAMBER
Kai motions to Xiaogou to be quiet. He slowly makes his way into the chamber. Xiaogou follows him into the chamber and grabs his arm in an attempt to stop him. Kai shakes off Xiaogou’s grip and slowly creeps closer to the woman. Xiaogou ducks back into the shadows.
Kai moves along the floor and is within 10 yards of the woman when the sound of keys opening a lock startles him. Kai silently slides, head first, under a thick pile of pillows near the back of the room as a door in the far corner of the room slams open. Xiaogou, although partially hidden by shadows, is exposed.
Six archers race into the room. The archers have hoods over their faces which are tied down with a strip of fabric between their forehead and mouth – forming an effective blindfold. As they race into the room and take up defensive positions, AIJUN GONG – a powerful warlord in his mid 50’s – enters the room.
AIJUN GONG
(intense)
Cover yourself, Meili.
(to the archers)
Do not let the intruder escape.
The sudden entry of the archers and Aijun Gong startle the woman. She immediately begins covering herself with layer after layer of silk cloth and shawls. Aijun Gong moves close to the woman.
The archers move throughout the room. Their progress is slow and deliberate.
Fearing imminent discovery, Xiaogou runs back up the stairs. The archers hear him and follow. As they enter the stairwell, the archers all draw arrows that have small wads of wax covered with soft cloth. They look to be non-lethal.
Xiaogou continues to race up the stairs. Below him, the blindfolded archers take aim and let fly their arrows.
Xiaogou is hit with these blunt-tipped projectiles – first his shoulder then his back and finally his legs. He loses his balance and falls from the stairs into the stairwell. He crashes to the ground smashing two of the archers down with him.
Xiaogou is killed by the fall.
The archers help their fallen comrades up, then carry the lifeless body of Xiaogou out of the stairwell and into the chamber.
ARCHER 1
We found only one intruder in the stairwell, Aijun Gong.
AIJUN GONG
(addressing the archers)
You know what to do.
Search the grounds for any other intruders.
The blindfolded archers carry the body of Xiaogou out of the chamber.
Kai remains hidden under the mass of pillows.
The woman, MEILI, sits up and slowly removes several layers of silk cloth. She leaves her face covered by one silk shawl.
AIJUN GONG
Meili, please accept my apology for this disturbance.
MEILI
A warlord need never apologize.
You were merely protecting your humble wife.
Aijun Gong approaches Meili. She turns away from him. She is now directly facing the pile of pillows where Kai is hiding. Kai tries to flatten himself more under the pillows to keep himself hidden. He does not know if Meili has seen him or not.
AIJUN GONG
Were you seen?
MEILI
Not to my knowledge.
AIJUN GONG
Good. I assure you,
this type of intrusion will not happen again.
Aijun Gong walks around Meili so that he can see her face. He tries to stroke her shoulder. Meili moves to avoid his touch.
MEILI
How did you know someone was trying to get in?
AIJUN GONG
The guards thought they heard voices in the stairwell.
MEILI
Your vigilance is reassuring.
AIJUN GONG
You are precious to me.
More precious than you can imagine.
MEILI
I’m tired.
AIJUN GONG
Of course.
Aijun takes her hand. She allows it.
AIJUN GONG
Never forget, your beauty,
as long as it lasts, is for my eyes only.
MEILI
(coldly)
How could I ever forget.
Meili turns away from him. Aijun Gong lets go of her hand.
AIJUN GONG
Pleasant dreams.
Aijun Gong exits the chamber and locks the door from the outside.
FYI – the level of insult in most pop Asian culture is far worse than calling someone a lamebrain. The goal of this is not to try to approximate or translate – this is an original story in the style of a Chinese fairy tale (spoiler alert – no happy endings – but morality lessons). What we do learn about the girl in the ivory tower is that once she realizes that she truly is beautiful her entire demeanor changes – she becomes petulant, difficult and manipulative. The concept at work here is “be careful what you wish for”… Also in regard to screenplays – the descriptive element is – by design – left to a minimum. I have considered turning this into a novella – which is where more detail can (an should) be added to paint a more “fleshed out” vision of the venue and the characterizations of the people. The problem that we try to address, as screenwriters, is how to relate the craft of writing to the needs and goals of a screenplay. I have been at it professionally for a long time and find that the best script writing is akin to blank verse poetry.
I like the setting and the characters, but some of the dialogue struck me as needing work. Would they really say “lamebrain” and “I got to thinking?” This didn’t seem fitting to me, although I admit that I am no expert on translating Asian languages into English. I have this scene in my head, but I would like a few more descriptive elements about the courtyard and tower. In all, well done effort on a difficult scene to write. I look forward to more posts, so we can find out more about the mysterious lady in the tower.