http://www.fictionwritersplatform.net/2009/11/excerpt-girl-in-the-ivory-tower-screenplay/ The Showcase for Fiction Writers Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:22:23 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 http://www.fictionwritersplatform.net/2009/11/excerpt-girl-in-the-ivory-tower-screenplay/comment-page-1/#comment-52 cfmacek Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:24:59 +0000 http://www.fictionwritersplatform.net/?p=340#comment-52 FYI - the level of insult in most pop Asian culture is far worse than calling someone a lamebrain. The goal of this is not to try to approximate or translate - this is an original story in the style of a Chinese fairy tale (spoiler alert - no happy endings - but morality lessons). What we do learn about the girl in the ivory tower is that once she realizes that she truly is beautiful her entire demeanor changes - she becomes petulant, difficult and manipulative. The concept at work here is "be careful what you wish for"... Also in regard to screenplays - the descriptive element is - by design - left to a minimum. I have considered turning this into a novella - which is where more detail can (an should) be added to paint a more "fleshed out" vision of the venue and the characterizations of the people. The problem that we try to address, as screenwriters, is how to relate the craft of writing to the needs and goals of a screenplay. I have been at it professionally for a long time and find that the best script writing is akin to blank verse poetry. FYI – the level of insult in most pop Asian culture is far worse than calling someone a lamebrain. The goal of this is not to try to approximate or translate – this is an original story in the style of a Chinese fairy tale (spoiler alert – no happy endings – but morality lessons). What we do learn about the girl in the ivory tower is that once she realizes that she truly is beautiful her entire demeanor changes – she becomes petulant, difficult and manipulative. The concept at work here is “be careful what you wish for”… Also in regard to screenplays – the descriptive element is – by design – left to a minimum. I have considered turning this into a novella – which is where more detail can (an should) be added to paint a more “fleshed out” vision of the venue and the characterizations of the people. The problem that we try to address, as screenwriters, is how to relate the craft of writing to the needs and goals of a screenplay. I have been at it professionally for a long time and find that the best script writing is akin to blank verse poetry.

]]> http://www.fictionwritersplatform.net/2009/11/excerpt-girl-in-the-ivory-tower-screenplay/comment-page-1/#comment-46 Brenda Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:30:54 +0000 http://www.fictionwritersplatform.net/?p=340#comment-46 I like the setting and the characters, but some of the dialogue struck me as needing work. Would they really say "lamebrain" and "I got to thinking?" This didn't seem fitting to me, although I admit that I am no expert on translating Asian languages into English. I have this scene in my head, but I would like a few more descriptive elements about the courtyard and tower. In all, well done effort on a difficult scene to write. I look forward to more posts, so we can find out more about the mysterious lady in the tower. I like the setting and the characters, but some of the dialogue struck me as needing work. Would they really say “lamebrain” and “I got to thinking?” This didn’t seem fitting to me, although I admit that I am no expert on translating Asian languages into English. I have this scene in my head, but I would like a few more descriptive elements about the courtyard and tower. In all, well done effort on a difficult scene to write. I look forward to more posts, so we can find out more about the mysterious lady in the tower.

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