His mistress dead, the priest intends to choose a successor and summons Lady Katherine to the church. She obeys, arriving with her servant.
When they reigned in outside the churchyard, Katherine knew a moment’s misgivings. The big church was so quiet and its grey bricks reminded her of the gravestones in the cemetery. She shivered and went in at the side door that led to the priest’s quarters, John walking quietly beside her. A chapel boy met them and took them through. He said nothing and disapeared after leading them into a well furnished room.
The plank floor was almost completely covered in a variety of thickly-furred animal skins. There were several chairs and stools, an ornately carved chest and two tall candle stands. The window was large and conical. Lead pieces covered the upper part of the window in an undulating design and the window opening had the slightly greenish tinge that meant the priest was able to afford some rather costly white glass. A small table stood before the window and on it three potted roses, one pink and two white. Their sweet perfume filled the air while a brisk fire warmed the room.
Katherine was not so naive as to suppose the priest lived simply, but such lavish comfort surprised her.
“Ah, here you are my child.”
Father Simon rose from his place in a high backed chair, set at such an acute angle that one could not see him upon entering the room.
She looked over his head and into the bedchamber just beyond an open alcove. It was sumptuously appointed in colourful brocades, silks and fine firs and seemed more like the possession of an eastern prince for the enjoyment of his harem than the room of a celibate.
Simon noted the direction of her gaze and rose to block her view.
“It continues to be a disagreeable summer. Warm yourself before the fire my child,” he invited with a wave of his hand.
Katherine moved to comply. The priest stirred behind her and she heard the soft closing of a door. When she glanced around Father Simon was just releasing the folds of a heavy curtain from the braided ropes that held it. It fell in front of the little alcove.
The priest frowned in John’s direction. “Our conversation is a private one,” he said, smoothing his lace-trimmed sleeves. And when John did not move. “Your mistress is quite safe with me,” he added drily, dismissing him with the back of his hand and turning to Katherine.
John Elder hesitated but Katherine raised her eyebrows at him. He looked unhappy but he withdrew.
The priest settled back in his chair, tented his thin white fingers together under his chin and gave her a threadlike smile. Uneasily, Katherine returned the smile.
“I have been considering your predicament,” he said. “And I may have a solution.”
He got up abruptly to stir the fire with a long lead poker. He stood beside her, silently stirring up the hot chunks and then not looking at her, said, “I am a man as any other child. You may think God and the Church are enough for a priest but I can assure you they are not. As a priest I cannot marry of course but I am sure you will allow that a man must at least have a hearthmate.”
Alarmed at the direction this conversation was taking, Katherine clenched her jaw and gave an abbreviated nod.
“In any case, it may be that we can be a comfort to one another. You are alone and so am I. You are in need of a protector and I am well able to fulfill that role. You would have the protection both of the Church and of God. It would be a satisfactory arrangement I assure you. And not to be too indelicate, I will only tell you that my demands would be both discreet and infrequent. Things could be much as they are for you now. In return for your solace from time to time I would look after both you and the affairs of the manor estates. The domestic routines would remain in your care.”
He was waiting for a response and kept his head down, warming himself in front of the fire.
Katherine could not believe what she was hearing. How could he make such a vulgar proposal? She looked at the nape of his wrinkled neck and rounded back and shuddered. The thought of his hands on her made her flesh crawl.
“I realize this is sudden,” he went on, “but I think you will agree the arrangement has merit.”
Katherine found her voice. “You take me by surprise, father. And although I appreciate your concern for my welfare I can not see that such a course of action would be in your best interest.”
She saw him stiffen. Still he did not look up.
“And why is that?” he asked in a thin voice.
“I can not let you compromise your position in the Church or indeed in the village.”
He frowned. “In what way?”
Katherine moved forward slightly and into his line of sight then slowly and with feigned reluctance turned up the sleeves of her dress and showed him her arms.
“I am greatly disfigured as you can see.”
The priest’s eyes widened and he recoiled slightly.
“You may lose the respect of your parish if people find your hearthmate to be blemished by a likeness to the flames of hell.” (*)
from The First Vial, Thistledown Press, 2005
(*) Katherine’s arms had been badly burned in a fire.
Thank you, zara. I’m glad you liked it. As to writing ‘can not’ rather than ‘cannot’, the usage is acceptable. When you either could or could not do something then using two words is correct. If you are unable to to something then using cannot is correct. Katherine had a choice.
The characterisation of the priest is vivid and details, and the dialogue is effective, written to add to and help your reader better understand his character.
Although a short excerpt, this is very well written and flows nicely. The interaction between the characters is believable.
One observation: “I can not let you compromise” – I thi9nk “cannot” is one word.
I am sure you meant “chunks” and not “chuks.” I think you can make the first paragraph stronger. Let us know more about Lady Katherine. When speaking about the sumptuous bedchamber, maybe “retreat” or “lair”, rather than possession, would be good. You do a good job of contructing the evil priest character – ugh!
Admin – I’ve fixed the typos. I was having trouble with cut-and-paste. I tried it three times and lost it. In frustration I finally typed the excerpt directly into the post so probably wasn’t as observant as I should have been. A link is an excellent idea.
Thank you carolrazadkiewicz. I appreciate your response.
Well written, tight dialogue. Helps the reader feel the entire book is something worth reading.
Though a short excerpt, there was enough to cause me to deeply dislike the priest and respect Katherine’s strength.
The image is beautiful and adds an attractive feature to this excerpt.
A few suggestions: The ending didn’t leave me in suspense, perhaps a different breaking point, shorter or longer with a link to where I can purchase the book?
The word WHEN is all caps, is that intentional?
Perhaps a typo, when she thinks of the priest’s touch it makes her flesh craw or crawl?
This is very well written, and the attention to detail,from the furnishing to the clothing and even the type of poker the priest uses to stir the fire, demonstrates that the writer did her research. Moreover, the ending of this excerpt definitely makes the reader want to know more.