Comments on: Freedom Bound – Part One

By: Freedom Bound – Part Two | Fiction Writers' Platform

Freedom Bound – Part Two | Fiction Writers' Platform — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 19:24:57 +0000

[...] Freedom Bound Part One Here. Read Part Three Here. VN:F [1.7.9_1023]Please rate this post.please wait…Rating: 3.7/5 (3 votes [...]

By: michelle

michelle — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 14:57:02 +0000

Thanks for all the good comments.

Yes, Brenda, that makes sense that she would not blend in all that well, although she originally thinks she can, and that is why she leaves. And her fear of being recognized and caught is also why she impulsively runs away with Andrew. I have more to come on this story.

By: Brenda

Brenda — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 13:32:46 +0000

Royal Abigail, in her deep blue cape, mounted on a gorgeous horse, would not be likely to blend in at the marketplace. She needs a disguise, or she must create a scene. Everyone would recognize her right away.

I enjoyed the writing. You are very good at descriptive passages.

By: yolande

yolande — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 18:36:32 +0000

First of all, I liked the story and think it has potential. However, I found a lot of “telling” rather than “showing” and to me, this distracted from the piece. Overall I would want to read further though. Well done.

By: Jerry

Jerry — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 13:16:36 +0000

Definitely a new beginning. Good story Michelle.