http://www.fictionwritersplatform.net/2010/01/quest-for-onepus-part-2/ Showcase your Writing for the World to See Thu, 09 Sep 2010 15:31:26 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 http://www.fictionwritersplatform.net/2010/01/quest-for-onepus-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-249 Bennett Parrish Tue, 13 Apr 2010 04:15:31 +0000 http://www.fictionwritersplatform.net/?p=920#comment-249 There is a definite romantic potential developing... Both characters are likable. It needs an editor's polish but that need does not detract from the story at all... Onward! There is a definite romantic potential developing… Both characters are likable. It needs an editor’s polish but that need does not detract from the story at all… Onward!

]]> http://www.fictionwritersplatform.net/2010/01/quest-for-onepus-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-169 Brenda Thu, 04 Feb 2010 13:25:01 +0000 http://www.fictionwritersplatform.net/?p=920#comment-169 I think it's time for some action in this story. The characters are interesting and convincing, and I definitely would turn the page and keep reading. I think it’s time for some action in this story. The characters are interesting and convincing, and I definitely would turn the page and keep reading.

]]> http://www.fictionwritersplatform.net/2010/01/quest-for-onepus-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-166 michelle Wed, 27 Jan 2010 16:51:35 +0000 http://www.fictionwritersplatform.net/?p=920#comment-166 I like hearing Tawni's side of this story as well as Larson's. I would consider italicizing her log, just to make more of a distinction. I can also see in this post that Tawni is becoming Larson's weakness. If he's not careful, he may soon be putty in her hands. I like hearing Tawni’s side of this story as well as Larson’s. I would consider italicizing her log, just to make more of a distinction. I can also see in this post that Tawni is becoming Larson’s weakness. If he’s not careful, he may soon be putty in her hands.

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