I had been travelling the galaxy for some time now, alone, occasionally stopping on an inhabited planet for food and supplies. I’d had a pretty good system going for a few years. I didn’t have a crew, although the ship is large enough for one, but still small enough for me to handle on my own. This way, I kept social contact to a minimum. I also used a special type of fuel for my hyper-drive. Hyper-drive systems are always very finicky, no matter how long we’ve had the technology. They always require special attention and a great deal of TLC that, admittedly, I lack. Since I didn’t have a crew – by my own choice – it’s a burden. I was lucky enough to discover in my travels a fuel that keeps my HD going for a couple years at a time with little problem.
But alas! Without warning – and a little negligence on my part, I suppose – the HD fuel ran too low to be used. And now she was hailing me. With an SOS. I debated whether or not to tell her and finally said, “I have no hyper-drive.”
“I have… no life support,” she breathed desperately.
I am not by any means a cruel man, but I have to admit that I hesitated a moment at the thought of having a guest on board my ship for an indefinite period of time. Of course, common decency won out and I opened my bay doors to let her tiny little cruiser in. When I got to the ship’s bay, she had collapsed in a heap beside her cruiser. I went and helped her up.
“No wonder you had no life support, this thing is tiny.” Not to mention old and broken, I added mentally.
“No,” she caught her breath, “malfunction.”
I stared at her a moment, decided she was safe enough and told her to come in and rest.
My ship was modest, nothing special really. I got her cheap off a retired captain when I was 19. Over the years, I’ve had plenty of time to fix her up. I started with the main systems, of course, to get her up and running. Once I had her out in the open, I began work on the inside renovations. I converted one room into an office, another into my personal quarters, made the corridors look elegant and spacious. Even the control and storage rooms had a little extra attention given them. I had, after all, been travelling around for ten years on my own.
I led her through the ship, noticing the appreciative look on her face. To my annoyance, her reaction to my ship pleased me. Why should I care what a stranger thought of my ship? It was beautiful, it was mine, I liked it and that was enough.
“Wow,” she whispered when we got to the bridge.
The bridge was my favourite part. When I bought the ship, I liked the layout of the bridge so much that I didn’t change it. I didn’t have a crew, but I certainly had the space for one. I had even taken the time to fix each control console and replace the chairs. Of course, the captain’s chair was the one I spent the most time in. In fact, I spent more time on the bridge than in my quarters. I even fell asleep there occasionally.
She looked around a bit, then pointed at the captain’s chair and asked, “This your chair?” Without waiting for my answer, she flopped carelessly into it.
I stared down at her and said, “They’re all my chairs,” rather dryly.
Thank you all for your helpful comments! I hope you’ll be interested enough to keep reading until the end. The characters start to take shape, and new ones appear very soon, I promise.
Just to clarify, while the story is labeled as “sci-fi,” I really just wanted to use that as a back-drop because I’m a bit of a sci-fi geek. The characters and their story is more important than whether it takes place on a space-ship or elsewhere.
Thank you for reading and I do hope you follow along and enjoy it
I am interested in the characters and intrigued enough to want to read more and see where the story goes. Watch out for verb tenses throughout. You jump around between past and present in the first paragraph in a way that is a bit confusing. Also, you “led” her through the ship, past tense, correct? The last part makes me wonder if this passenger is going to be troublesome. Hmmm. What next? You show a good understanding of what makes sci-fi work.
The style has a conversational tone which makes the reader like the character immediately.
I found a contradiction in that the MC admits to not having certain skills in the beginning yet we learn he has made major modifications to the ship. I liked him better as an incompetent.
Even though, the style is relaxed, be careful about repeating, “always very, This way, But alas!, Of course” Some words are simply filler words that do not move a story forward.
Another issue: SiFi readers won’t tolerate vagueness. “I also used a special type of fuel for my hyper-drive.” This won’t fly with some. You need to be nerdy, detailed. That’s why I liked the guy initially because he doesn’t know how things work. That’s your strength with this piece.
Tasja,
I’m not sure this makes sense: ‘although the ship is large enough for one, but still small enough for me to handle on my own’
Large enough for one implies small. Small enough for me to handle implies big. Which is it?
Not sure about this too: ‘noticing the appreciative look on her face. To my annoyance, her reaction to my ship pleased me.’
Why would you be annoyed if she appreciates what you did?
I like it. I’m interested in seeing where this story is going and finding out why the main character likes to be alone so much. So keep posting.