Miss Conception

There was a young girl called Melinda – a happy, lively and loving girl. Much of her loving nature came from her mother, Belinda, who loved everyone. Like Melinda, Belinda had many friends who called around. The house was a jolly and happy place, usually filled with Melinda’s friends who were mainly girls and Belinda’s friends who were mainly men. During the day Melinda’s friends would come and play and fill the house with their lively chatter and laughter. Belinda’s friends would turn up – usually later in the day – for more fun and laughter. In fact, in the evenings Belinda became so busy with all her friends that she had to start a roster and each friend would ring up and make a time to visit. She would then entertain them in the lounge with a few drinks and then go into the private room for a while. It was a very jolly place and everyone who came and went was very happy.

Melinda loved her mother and was very happy in their jolly house. She liked to help Belinda with the jobs around the house and they talked a lot and discussed everything. Her mother was so loving and was friends with everyone. There were some people that others wouldn’t talk to but Belinda talked to everyone – even those who said horrible things to her. She always said to Melinda that there is goodness in everyone, if we look hard enough and carefully enough. And if we look at the good bits and talk to the good bits, then they grow bigger and the nasty bits slowly shrink away. Melinda thought that this was wonderful and could see so many good bits in everyone that she had more friends than anyone else.

Then, one day, some serious people knocked on the door. They had serious faces and serious clothes – smooth and dark and quite unlike the colourful and fluffy clothes that Melinda and Belinda were used to. They said that they wanted to talk to Belinda in private and Melinda was confused as they weren’t taken to the private room. They were taken into the lounge and Melinda wouldn’t leave her mother’s side as she felt frightened for her.

The serious people wanted Melinda to leave the room but Belinda said that she always discussed everything with her daughter and she should know what it was about. The serious people got more serious, some went red and they whispered amongst themselves. They seemed to be quite scared or nervous or something and didn’t know what to do.

Finally one of them, looking especially serious, red and nervous said that they insisted they be able to have a private conversation with Belinda, as the matter was extremely serious.

“If the matter is that serious, then my daughter and best friend should know about it,” said Belinda. “Besides, this is also her home and I cannot push her out of it.”

“That is why we are here,” blurted out Mr. Stern. “We don’t think your daughter should be in this house.” He probably wasn’t supposed to say this as the other serious people looked at him in a very menacing way. “I mean … we … uurr … just wanted to discuss your daughter’s education,” he stammered.

“You want my daughter out of the house so you can discuss her education?” Belinda asked, looking confused.

“Aahh, yes … no … well … we are concerned with the conditions here, the people …. ,” he said, trying to explain.

“What people?” asked Belinda. “You mean us?”

“No, no … the other people here,” said Mr. Stern, pulling at his ear and looking pained.

“But there aren’t any other people living here, just Melinda and I,” said Belinda, trying to be helpful.

“What we are concerned about are the other people, the ones who come here all the time,” said Mrs. Bull, trying to wipe something invisible off her lap.

“My friends!” blurted out Melinda. “Aren’t they very happy with me?”

“No … aahh … yes … what I mean is … well … its not your friends we are concerned with,” said Mr. Stern, not actually answering the question, again. “It is your friends, Mrs. Joy, that we are concerned with.”

“Are they unhappy with me?” asked Belinda. “I am sure they would have said so to me.”

“No, they are probably happy, very happy,” said Mrs. Bull with a sneer.

“Then why are you concerned for them if they are happy?” asked Belinda, sinking deeper into confusion.

“We are not concerned for them, we are concerned about them,” chimed in Miss Spent, for the first time, grammatically.

“Are they sick or something?” asked Melinda, trying to find a mental light switch.

“No! They are fine! They are happy and healthy and that’s the problem!” snorted Mrs. Bull. “They shouldn’t be!”

“They shouldn’t be happy and healthy?” asked Belinda, astonished.

“They can be anything they like! They just shouldn’t be here, with this child,” said Miss Spent angrily, with her knees clasped firmly together.

“But I like Mum’s friends! They are such nice people and they are always giving us things,” said Melinda, with concern.

“Listen, young lady. Let me explain,” said Master Bates, a middle-aged bachelor, as he sidled up to her, licking his lips. “The things these friends do here are not nice things and we don’t think that it is good for you, for your education.”

“But I don’t go to school here. I go at school,” said Melinda, moving away. There was a moment’s silence while the serious people looked at the ceiling, the floor, their hands, their shoes and everything else except other people.

“This is a very delicate matter,” said Mrs. Bull finally, rubbing her eye and still looking at the floor. “It is very important that there is no confusion and that you know exactly why we are here.”

“So why are you here?” asked Belinda, relieved that the confusion was, at last, to be dispelled.

“I thought we had just told you,” said Miss Spent severely, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry,” said Belinda, “but I don’t understand. You seem to be saying that bad things happen here that could affect my daughter’s education.” The serious people all nodded together, slight smiles breaking out. “I think I need a drink – my brain is spinning. Would anyone else like one?” Belinda asked.

“No thank you. We do not drink,” said Mr Stern, rather primly.
Belinda looked confused and went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. There was absolute silence and the serious people looked at the ceiling and floor and other things for the whole time she was away. Melinda watched them with bemused interest and thanked her mother for the glass of lemonade she brought back with her tea.

“Now, what are the bad things my friends do?” asked Belinda, having had no clarity from her cup of tea.

“Well … you know … you do them too,” stammered Master Bates, smiling sweetly.

“Well, please, what are these things I do?” asked Belinda, sinking back into confusion.

“The things you do with men,” said Master Bates, rubbing his leg. As an afterthought, he added, “with their clothes off.”

“But the things I do with them cannot be done with their clothes on,” answered Belinda, incredulously. “They are the same things I do with women.”

“Well!” exclaimed Miss Spent, with her eyes popping. “What do you do when they have their clothes off?”

“I’ll be back in a second,” said Belinda, leaving the room. Melinda noticed that Master Bates was licking his lips an awful lot and Miss Spent was rubbing her knees together. The other two looked very flushed and seemed to find the same part of the ceiling very interesting and absorbing. Belinda returned with three framed certificates and placed them on the floor before the serious ones.

“Mum, can I go and get ready for bed?” asked Melinda, looking very tired.

“Of course, Dear,” said Belinda. “I’ll be up soon.” She looked at the other four. “I am a trained masseur and physiotherapist,” she explained patiently. “I am sorry, but I am very slow and have only just realised why you four are here. You are trustees for the high school that Melinda will be starting next year. Is that right?”

The four nodded silently.

“You were concerned that the name of the school would be in danger if the daughter of a parent who did naughty things went to your school?” she said, as a question.

Again, more nodding.

“And what naughty things do you think I do?” she asked.

“Well, we heard …. that …. aahh,” said Mrs. Bull, uncertainly, “Some people were saying that you were entertaining these people with drink …”

“And you assumed the drink was alcoholic?” Belinda asked. They went red and looked away. There was a pause.

“Then you were going off in private and doing these nude things,” continued Miss Spent, after the pause.

“And?” said Belinda.

“And,” repeated Miss Spent. “And we assumed ….”

“You assumed what?” asked Belinda.

“Well, we heard that these visitors gave you things for your services,” added Mr. Stern.

“Yes, I charge for my services, like everybody else. I am a little different from most, though, as I do not charge a fixed fee. People pay me what they think I’m worth or what they can afford. Sometimes they cannot afford it in cash and give me food or clothing or fix my car or whatever,” explained Belinda. “I know it sounds a little unusual, but the funny thing is that I seem to get just what I need.”

“Uumm,” came the mumbled reply from someone.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but is there still a problem with Melinda going to your school next year?” asked Belinda.

“Oh! No!” exclaimed Mr. Stern

“Of course not!” said Miss Spent. “No problem at all.”

“Can I ask another silly question, then?” Belinda asked.

“Of course!” said Mrs. Bull. “Of course, anything you want to know.”

“Well …. this is just theoretical,” said Belinda. “But if I was, say, a prostitute, would Melinda still be able to go to your school?”

“Certainly not!” snorted Mrs. Bull, looking shocked. “We are a Christian school and we could not allow people with such low morals.”

“But Melinda would still be the same child, wouldn’t she,” said Belinda. “And she’s the one going to the school, not me.”

“But it’s just not right,” said Master Bates. “We couldn’t have perverts like that around. It wouldn’t look very good at all.” He looked flushed and didn’t seem to know where to put his hands.

“Thank you. I understand now,” said Belinda. “It’s been very nice of you to come and explain all this to me. You have all been very helpful.” There was a knock at the door. “Looks like my next customer is here, on time, as usual.” she said. “My business cards are on the table by the door if you would like one. I am very good at what I do.”

They all stood up and followed her to the door. Master Bates lingered a little and took a card while the others weren’t looking.
As she opened the door for them she addressed the new visitor, “Looks like we have an educational evening.” she said. “First the trustees and now you, Head Master.”

“Mr. Stern! Mrs. Bull!” exclaimed Mr. Beat. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“We were … aahh … just visiting,” stammered Mr. Stern. “Just sorting things out for next year. I’m sorry, but we really must go. Thank you Miss Joy.”

As he flopped onto the couch, looking rather flushed, Belinda asked Mr. Beat if he would like his usual drink.

“Yes please,” he said. “Make it a large whisky if you please. Seeing them has rather upset me.”

“Don’t worry about that. I am sure we won’t have any more trouble from them,” she said, with a smile. “I will just say good night to Melinda. I’ll be back soon.”

“Now, would you like just a massage, or would you like your usual extras?” she asked as she came back into the lounge.

[This story is from the book, The Royal Bank of Stories, at http://www.lebrary.com/author.php?id=191]