After a few moments I turned back to her and said in a stern, formal tone: ‘Lieutenant Aiesha Henderson, it is time to return…’
Aiesha tried to get up but found she had no control over her limbs. She was paralysed; and to her horror, as she slowly drifted into unconsciousness, she saw her legs and arms disappearing.
With her last vestiges of control she screamed.
She screamed again when she woke. Captain Trehearne’s image was displayed on the screen before her was addressing her.
‘Welcome back Lieutenant Henderson.’ His tone was grave and sombre. ‘Unfortunately, although we have been able to leave the ship, it is still on the same course, so you will be completing the journey you planned so carefully, alone’
I started work fitting tyres on anything from wheelbarrows to earth-movers. Then I became a software engineer, from correcting programs to designing and building systems.
In contrast to that rather sedentary occupation, my outside interests were essentially practical, learning to a level of competency any skill that opportunity presented. From cooking, knitting and gardening to building dry stone walls, wood-working and rock climbing.
I retired early following a mountaineering accident. As a part of my recovery I found that trying to write what I felt, resulted in poetry. Collected into a small book, self published but never distributed.
Then I wrote a fantasy novel, printed it and hand bound it - just to feel how it was done.
I then became interested in the whole arena of writing and am now returning to that first effort and rewriting it with more insight into what I am doing. I am learning all the time, writing when-ever and where-ever the opportunity presents itself.
The benefits that accrue from accepting the advice inherent in reviews are immense, if one has the humility to weigh them and accept rather than deny what they are saying.
I acknowledge that I am a mere tyro compared to the majority on here but trust that you will look kindly upon my desire to develop my skills.
Took me a while to read but was definitely worth it. A very good one John. I thoroughly enjoyed each of those 35 pages, even though as a rule I don’t like “reading” Sci-Fi but rather wqtch it. Here is one exception to the rule
This first part of your story is interesting. Well written and I especially like the way you’ve described the bank on the first paragraph. Looking forward to reading the following chapters. Cheers.
An intriguing beginning! One suggestion: Remove the comma from “Like being on the inside of a tumble dryer, full of stones.” I am imagining that the poor prospector has had a dinner of stones before tumbling down the mountain!
Took me a while to read but was definitely worth it. A very good one John. I thoroughly enjoyed each of those 35 pages, even though as a rule I don’t like “reading” Sci-Fi but rather wqtch it. Here is one exception to the rule
Keep it up.
Hello John,
This first part of your story is interesting. Well written and I especially like the way you’ve described the bank on the first paragraph. Looking forward to reading the following chapters. Cheers.
Punitha
Thank you Brenda, well spotted, comma removed.
John.
An intriguing beginning! One suggestion: Remove the comma from “Like being on the inside of a tumble dryer, full of stones.” I am imagining that the poor prospector has had a dinner of stones before tumbling down the mountain!