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A fond holiday memory. Well, a memory. Memorial Day. This was the day, over a decade ago, that I personally validated several of our very fine natural laws, mostly Isaac Newton’s. Memorial Day, 1995, Lake Secession, South Carolina. A blithely boisterous bonding of friends, food and frolic, punctuated by pork barbecue, parasailing, skiing, sun-bathing and volleyball. It being yet Continue reading Why I Hate Straws To Jessie Julien: For teaching me to look within the words for the pictures The last day of the month crawled by. It crawled like the afternoon sun crawled, a sun unseen but for its subtle siblings, an army of fleeting images, forming and fleeing along the tier of windshields in the cars parked in front Continue reading Clay Pigeons Call me Ishmael. I’ve always wanted to say that. My real name is Barry. But I’ve had others: you know, playground nicknames, pet names, mail merge screw-up names. I also get credit card offers in the mail addressed to Barry Parham III, which either means I’m missing a whole bunch of allowable tax deductions, or else Continue reading Mother of the Year(ling) (Your tax dollars at play) Looking back, the trigger was easy to spot. The whole problem exploded when employees of the Securities & Exchange Commission were caught, during work hours, surfing the Internet for corn. Understand, I’m hardly suggesting anybody could have predicted the resulting, culture-altering backlash, but you have to admit the trigger was easy to Continue reading Brussels Sprouts & Guillotines (Odd bedfellows collide in one of America’s possible futures) My clone and I were driving the kids over to Gitmo North for sensitivity training when the rogue Toyota toaster oven lurched into the skyway. My clone, Me Two, blamed me. I was using robo-steer, of course – I’m not a total idiot – and it’s not as Continue reading Me Two Gets Her Way Living alone, I don’t have much need for my guest bathroom. I rarely even enter the room. But last night, I did. I had to. I’m single. For single people to expect to survive on a planet where other human beings might actually visit your house, we have to abide by some standards and some rules. Continue reading An Avuncular Afterword One small man, one large universe, one lousy afternoon for both Andy shifted on the low-pitched couch as he closed the thick paperback. Seven hundred pages in three days was pretty remarkable for his manic work schedule, but this had been A BOOK … it had simply kidnapped him. He dropped the fat thing behind the Continue reading Gravity and Andy (The trick to reality is in learning how to fake it) When Parker was younger, the business where he worked consisted of four long double alleys filled with brightly colored boxes. Along the windows and framing the front door and capping the ends of each aisle and back-lighting the back counter were huge, full-color, machine-stamped cardboard Continue reading Heroes Dear Cousin, I wanted to fire off a few words to you, now that I’ve set up shop here above the South Carolina state line in North Carolina. Believe it or not, things are not so much different here, north of Rock Hill, north of Charleston, south of New York. I rented a room, first-off, in what Continue reading Just Like Home |
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