Comments for Fiction Writers' Platform

Comment on Miss Conception by Jerry

Jerry — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:37:34 +0000

Well done, with a nice twist at the end. Some interesting dialogue spread throughout with intriguing philosophical and ethical implications.

Comment on Asharif the boatman by Brenda

Brenda — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:12:03 +0000

Another fine story. Could any of the society people ever be wise, or would that complicate the story too much? There is a definite similarity to Christianity here. Must we always kill our prophets? Interesting.

Comment on Miss Conception by Brenda

Brenda — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:03:55 +0000

A very thought-provoking fable, indeed.

Comment on Asharif the boatman by michelle

michelle — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:34:57 +0000

I started wondering what this story was really about while reading it, and I also found a bit of Jesus in there. Your characterization is quite nice, the descriptive paragraphs making the reader feel for the protagonist.

Comment on Asharif the boatman by PhilipBradbury

PhilipBradbury — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 08:46:04 +0000

Thank you, Jerry, and the ending surptised me when I wrote it! I had planned for quite a different ending and,as I was about to carry on, something inside said to turn left and finish it right there, this way! As usual, I did what I was told!

Comment on Asharif the boatman by Jerry

Jerry — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 20:02:42 +0000

Oh, this is good. The kind of story that you finish and then start wondering if it was really about A, or B, or maybe C? A bit of Jesus, a touch of Kahlil (did I spell that correctly?).

Comment on Puppy Love by Arlene Hauben

Arlene Hauben — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 08:06:37 +0000

We value your thoughtful comments.What did you like/dislike?What would improve it?

It is a simple and sweet story, not overwritten. Would like it to be longer, more detail.

Comment on Deal with the Devil – A Short Story by TianaCarter

TianaCarter — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 22:12:41 +0000

We value your thoughtful comments.What did you like/dislike?What would improve it?

The story has interesting ideas and Sammy makes a really good ‘Rosemary’(Rosemary’s Baby was a movie about a demonic cult wanting to ‘care’ for a child that was supposedly the devil’s son). There should be more about her and her desire for a child. Sometimes it would be better for us if we don’t find that ’special’ someone.

I too found typos, spell check is a life saver sometimes. I’d have bought it typos and all with a little more development.

Comment on Abiding Love – Part Two by Jerry

Jerry — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 12:19:28 +0000

As with part one, this is well-written. Felicity and Joseph seem nice enough people, the other characters are still unknowns to the reader. What seems lacking to me is some punch, something that grabs an emotion and tugs me into feeling something more intense for the characters.

The premise has promise, I’m anxious to see it unfold.

Thanks for contributing, keep it up!

Comment on Abiding Love – Part Two by Brenda

Brenda — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:31:45 +0000

I’m wondering why Joseph’s parents were so short with Felicity. Was there a problem with that relationship? Will Felicity have to win over both Joseph and his parents now?